It started at Christmas.
I passed out in the bathroom and my uncle had to knock the door down.

I woke up on the couch with a cold rag on my head.

I missed Christmas junior year. I spent it in bed. Sick.

Sick wasn’t that unusual for me, but I didn’t understand why.

The doctor wanted to run a bunch of tests on me, but I’m uninsured. I can’t afford medical tests.

Passing out might have saved my life. Or maybe it was the conversation I had with my teacher a couple weeks later.

It’s not easy to look in the mirror and see breakouts on your face, your arms, your back. All over. It’s not easy, but it was simply part of my every day life and had been since I was nine.
Sleeveless shirts, backless dresses, swim suits. I hated them all. To this day I don’t know how to swim because I didn’t want to show my back.

“You’re so skinny.”

Those words hurt. I’d heard them my whole life.

That day in class the teacher I talked to had an answer when students said the words to her.

She couldn’t eat regular food because, for her, regular food could be deadly. The symptoms she described rang a bell, especially the fact that her hair fell out. I stayed after to talk.

And that’s when I learned more about celiac.

The teacher suggested I try to go a week on a gluten-free diet. She warned it wouldn’t be easy.

She was right.

Before then my typical lunch consisted of Taco Bell or McDonald’s. Those days were over.

After that week I had more energy. I didn’t get bloated. I didn’t have digestive issues.

My mom and my teacher talked, and I went to the doctor. The doctor ran a blood test and confirmed my disease.

Today life has changed.

I don’t eat out as often or use wheat, barley, oats, rye or anything with MSG. As long as I follow that plan, I’m good.

Lotions are tough. Most have oats or barley in them. If I use them, I pay the price, and it’s not pretty.

I worked at Chicken Express and my hands broke out. The culprit: flour.

Makeup: blush and mascara are the worst. They will kill my face. Yep, those products aren’t gluten-free.

Shampoo and conditioner. Awful. Wheat germ. Same with hair coloring.

I’ve learned to look at the back of anything I buy to see if it has gluten in it. If it’s not certified from the celiac foundation, I worry because of cross contamination.

It’s trouble, but it’s worth it.

I’m healthy now. I’ve gained weight. And the lesions are gone.

Next month I’m wearing a dress to a wedding. It’s strapless. I love it. I always felt like there was something wrong with me. When I wear that dress I feel beautiful. I don’t need to hide.

I still have the scars, but they’re not something I’m ashamed of anymore. Maybe this summer I’ll even learn to swim.